Day 38/39

Forgot to write again last night ya'll!! But here's an update on how these past two days went. Yesterday, myself and a friend made tank tops for us to wear supporting our submariners :) Then we did artwork inspired by our husbands on canvas :) It was a rainy day, so relaxing whilst doing art work was wonderful! Then today I didn't do too much. Went to the mall with some friends and got a different weight loss pill to assist the losing of the weight, got some new flippy-floppies, then came home. I worked out a bit after that, and now I'm just relaxing, getting ready to head to sleep! I have an eye appointment in the morning pretty early as compared to my usual sleep schedule wake up time. How I feel, is weird. I miss my husband but I feel so independant. So independant it's ridiculous. I like it, but at the same time, it's a new feeling. It's good to be independant I suppose, but like I said, it's new. It's something most people don't get to feel once they get married. Sorry to make this blog short, but, there isn't much to say for today or yesterday. I've been going through a weird funk lately. BUT, today is the last day of the 30-s!!! Tomorrow begins day 40! Thank goodness! Maybe that will help get me out of my funk! <3 Goodnight ya'll.

Daaay 37!!

Ok so we're almost out of the 30's. Thank goodness!!! For some reason these days have been the worst. But anyways, today, I woke up, took some photography with my friend on base. We got some absolutely gorgeous shots and I realized that I LOVE living in a military area. I love the jets, I love the large boats, ships, everyone in uniform... I love it!! Then, I went home, did some school work, and another wife from my boat stopped by to abduct me so I didn't sit at home alone all night! We had supper at her place then headed over to the Cinema Cafe to watch "The Dilema." It was a ton of fun!! Jammed out in the car on the way home as well :) Got home, relaxed. Been texting a few friends, watching tv. Then, I got the urge to dance! Lol! I have been blasting party music and dancing around my apartment having a great time! Then... All the sudden... I saw a picture of my husband and I on our digital photo frame, and something hit me. It hit me so hard that it crushed me...

I miss him, 24/7, remain loyal to him, treasure him, love him, support him... But, I get on this fast paced path to getting a schedule and living everyday. I'm independant to the point where I can make myself happy while I'm sitting at home alone. I can dance around my living room and laugh and smile. I can survive. Then I stop for a second, everything slows down, and I remember his face perfectly. I remember the way his mouth moves. I remember his smiles. I remember us, and what it's like to be together and it's absolutely crushing. I just wish time would pass faster.

I'm going through a funk ya'll, a weird funk. Full of independance, schedules, stress, bipolar-ness, seclusion, loneliness and about anything else you can think of!

Top picture, my collection of photo booth pics! And below that, the newest addition! Gotta love us military wives! Last pic we were blowing our husbands kisses :D

Day 36

Not too much went down today. Basically just woke up, worked out for a few hours *which felt great I might add* and hung out with a friend. It felt really nice to be working out consistantly again! I wanna get back at my goal and start really kicking some serious butt in the weight loss category! So tomorrow I'll be doing some photography with a friend, working out and finishing school work :) Possibly even a taco night with another friend! Either way, I'm glad the days are passing. Hating this period of zero contact with my hubby. I wish I didn't have to sleep alone anymore and I wish I didn't have to miss him anymore. This truly is REALLY hard. Nowadays it isn't exactly strength keeping me going, but this schedule. It's keeping me afloat. I hope it keeps me going until he's home!! Really wish he was coming home soon though. Well ya'll, I almost forgot to blog tonight but I caught myself. My laptop is almost dead so I gotta wrap this up. I'm so ready to be out of the 30's. I really am! Don't ask me why but they are killin' me!! If anyone has anything they'd like me to blog about, let me know! I'm always up for suggestions. In fact, I encourage them! Hope ya'll sleep tight. Goodnight.

Days 34/35

Sorry about the split days everyone! I've just been so busy/going through a bit of a phase. First I'll talk about my days, then I'll talk about how I feel. Yesterday, I had a full day with my girls! We made a 3 hour drive to go to an Irish festival only to find out that dogs weren't allowed into the festival (Which was outside) so, we drove home. Then we went out for the evening afterwards! It was a really great time and it was a huge stress reliever! I woke up this morning, my friend drove me home, and I relaxed for a bit. Watched some tv, showered. Some other friends stopped by laster on and we went to applebees for supper, then watched Army Wives and Coming Home. This weeks episodes were INTENSE! I cried/was teared up basically at ALL times! Made me think about what it would be like if I lost my husband. I just couldn't possibly imagine it. But of course, we all worry and have those thoughts every once in a while. Now, how I feel. I dunno what exactly it is, but I'm going through a phase. It's hard to think about the situation I'm in. It's hard to think of my husband or think of this deployment - what day it is, how many days are left. It's really hard. It's helping the time pass a little faster, but also, when I do slow down and remember my husbands sweet face, it burns. Right now, I'm having a hard time finding words to say. It's not that I don't care, I'm just speechless, thoughtless, wordless. I just dunno what to say. I miss Patrick horribly, and I just want this to be over. I don't want to be the third wheel during dates, I don't want to keep waking up alone. I want him to be back and I want our lives to go back to normal. But I can't have that happen, it really isn't up to me. For now this is all, I'm not gonna make this whole split days thing a habit. I think it's just a stage I'm going through. Keep reading ya'll and keep on keepin' on! Goodnight!

Days 32/33 - split day again

Sorry ya'll, didn't get to writing again last night. But I'll explain why!

So yesterday I didn't do too much until I had a friend over :) Her husband is also on my husband's boat and we had never hung out before. Now if ya'll have been following along from the beginning, you'll remember my "Here comes goodbye" blog, about how I said I saw another couple saying their goodbyes and it was what hit me really hard and got me crying, well, it was her and her husband! :) We stayed up until the sun was coming up talking about our boys and our lives and I have to be honest, it felt awesome! It's great to find another wife around my age who's at the same stage in life as me and going through most of the same things! And as I said, we stayed up until the sun was coming up, hence why this blog was not written last night.

Then today we went out to her place, introduced my Molly to her kitties and it was a blast :) Afterwards, I came home, picked up some of my other friends and had a little bit of a get together. Just sitting around, BS-ing, watching movies and eating pizzas. It was fun though! It's nice to just... Relax with friends! Have a good time, tell some jokes, make some silly little memories. And now, I am laying in bed whilst my friends are passed out across my entire living room like a crime scene.

Tomorrow myself and two friends (Both of whom I've hung out with between today and yesterday) are going to an Irish Festival! We're bringing Molly along and it should be a really fun day! :) My hubby and I are both Irish and I know he would LOVE to be here and go with me. I sure wish he could.

Now, enough of what I've done. How about how I've been feeling? Like crap. But ok. It's very complicated. I feel strong and independant, I feel a schedule everyday. His absense is still everywhere, but his absense is also expected now. It's easier when my body gets in a routine of knowing he's not gonna be coming home from work or he's not going to be sending me a text or holding me at night. It just becomes normal. At the same time, this fact brings me down. It's upsetting to know that we've got to live without each other or be apart. I miss the intimacy of having my husband home to hold me at night. But one thing I can tell you for sure, I will never take advantage of another moment I have with him. I will never take one kiss for granted, one smile, nothing. Because those are the little things I'm missing more than anything.

Bottom line is, I'm used to him being gone. Which makes things easier. But knowing this fact, is just downright depressing. I don't want to be used to that. I want him here.

Well everyone, I'm heading off to bed for another early day full of some fun! :) I'm just trying to soak up the days to their fullest so they pass faster. Although I must say, it being day 33, I feel like I've been in the day 30-s forever! I dunno why though! If your husband/boyfriend/etc is home or will be coming home tonight from work or whatever... Hug him extra tight. Sometimes being with someone all the time we take advantage of those intimate moments, or don't fully appreciate them even when we think we do. Something so simple as a kiss is easy to underestimate. But honestly, when you're apart for so long, a small quick kiss becomes something glorious that you dream of. So soak it up everyone, just take a deep breath and appreciate to the fullest the next hug or kiss you give your SO.

Sweet dreams ya'll :)

Day 30/31

Wow, did I not write yesterday?! I was sure I did! But like I said early on, if there's every a day that I don't write, I guess that's good! It means the day was long and I didn't have time :) Well, yesterday and today was ALOT of spring cleaning!! Yesterday I went to the beach, on my own. Actually, I took my pup. We walked up and down the beach with our feet in the water :) It was SO nice! It gave me alot of thought though, and made me miss my husband so terribly much! I just wanted him there with me to walk with me and talk to me. I miss the days that when I wanted to go somewhere, I didn't have to try to find someone to come along or go alone, because my husband generally never refused doing stuff with me :p That's part of being married... You just do things together. I really miss that, as simple as that is! Anyways, it was great to hang out at the beach. Then, today I was planning to go to the beach but it didn't get nice out until I was already making different plans! I cleaned a ton today, and got some new little things for around the apartment. It was a nice day :) I miss my hubby horribly though. I'm stressin' about money and about trying to find the cash to visit him overseas for his midway, about all the other things we're trying to save for! Wish I could find myself an easy money maker! Doesn't work that way though I suppose. But, I'm very sorry I wasn't able to write yesterday! I really can't believe I forgot! I am now gonna go to bed though, and tomorrow - BEACH AGAIN! :D I really really enjoyed it! Helped motivate me alot. So keep up your strength! Send me questions or comments! I'd love some topics to write about! Sweet dreams and goodnight everyone!

The little boy who says he saw heaven and God

http://www.hollybaby.com/2011/03/03/boy-heaven-new-york-times-best-seller/





This story really amazed me and gave me alot of faith! Never forget about God! :D He will never give you more than you can handle and he is always watching. My parents told me when I was much younger, we were in a small car accident and when I was asked about it, I told my parents that the angels had held me and I was very very serious about seeing these angels. Reading this story helped remind me that God is too great to be fake! He is there! :D

Day 29 - Offically 1 month down!

Wow, I cannot believe it's been a month already!! I have not kissed, hugged, held or talked face to face with my husband in a month!! But, I'm glad that the time is passing. I feel very optimistic about the fact that I've made it this far and I am no longer counting in "days" but in "months!" :D So lets see what I did today! I cleaned out my laundry room, and now it is so clear and so full of space! Got all sorts of laundry done (Haven't done laundry in weeks)! And then I watched some TV and did a p90x exercise! Ok, so p90x is NOT easy! But hopefully it will give me the results I'm looking for!! From now on, I'm gonna wake up, do my p90x workout, eat breakfast, do what I gotta do for the day, then at night, bike for 2 hours on my exercise bike. I'd also like to throw in a walk on the beach every day that is nice! I am absolutely loving this warm weather! Here it is 1am and my sliding glass door is wide open, letting in the gorgeous air! It smells so damn because of the storm we just had, but soo warm and fresh :D But now, I am exhausted. I love ending my days exhausted. It helps the days all pass so much faster. So, I will say goodnight to ya'll and let you know, you can do anything you set your mind to! Just do it! Gotta find the mindset and not give that up. I know ya'll can do it. If you're loving someone in the military, you're OBVIOUSLY motivated :D

Motivation from my hubby :)

So my honey left me a facebook comment for me to read today, now that he's back out of contact. It gave me such hope and such happiness that I feel like, I can really kick this deployment's butt!! Some of the small things he says in it were quotes we used with each other back when we were best friends, when we first began dating, throughout our engagement... but haven't been able to say to each other in a while, or at least since we were married, because of the fact that since late December (we were married at the end of November), he's been out to sea the majority of the time. Hearing all of his positivity and hearing the way he feels about me really just gave me all sorts of motivation. Not to mention, it made me really realize how lucky I am to have the man I do! I've decided to include the comment below so that you wives who are reading, and feeling discouraged, know that your husbands are missing you and that you really are their rock. I know my husband loves me, but, sometimes things are so stressful that he doesn't think to really, really go in to detail reminding me. Sometimes I just get a "I love you," or just an "I miss you." Sometimes those words feel small and insignificant, although they truly aren't. When he finally took the time to write me something explaining how he was feeling, I realized that everytime he told me he loved me and missed me, he meant it in a much bigger way than I could comprehend. Remember that ladies. They're busy, they're stressed, they're going through all sorts of things that we couldn't understand - lack of everyday freedoms, exhausted, etc. But they do love us. So never let yourself fear differently! Never give up on your man! He loves you and that won't change, no matter how worried we are... It won't. Ladies, I'm asking you to get up and do something amazing today! Just get outta the house, go on a walk and see some new things, do something! Just accomplish something! Do it for your man :)

"I love you so much honey. I'm gonna miss you so bad. But know that I love you. And that that will never change. I'm yours forever. Whether I'm a thousand miles away. A million miles away. Or right next to you. No matter what the argument. Know that I will always stay true to you and that we can recover from anything. No matter what. You're my baby girl. You're my bright ray of sunlight. And you're that light at the end of the deployment tunnel. Don't be scared. Of anything. I'm always here. I love you. Stay strong and keep charging. And if you feel yourself sinking in the river of life, know that I'll be right underneath you. Holding my breath and keeping your head above the water. I'll talk to you in a bit. Bye my love."

This right here, is my hero :) Never did I ever imagine I'd be lucky enough to marry a man like my husband. Even when he isn't here, I am reminded daily of the ways he loves me simply by just being in our home. He sacrifices so much for us to live the way we do. Not only does he serve our country, he serves his family. He takes care of me and loves me, and makes sure that I know that. He never gives up on me. I couldn't have imagined a better life with a better person.

Keep my husband and his crew in your prayers - USS Newport News <3

Day 28!

Today was a nice day, but also a heartbreaking day! My friend and I found a lost puppy and took him with us for the beach! We enjoyed the beach, riding around, gave the little guy a bath and named him Marshall :) His owner did claim him later on that evening though. But it was great to have another pup for Molly to pal around with :) Also, I had to say goodbye to my hubby :( Today was our last day to skype. I may possibly get a quick phone call tomorrow (sometime in the middle of the night) saying goodbye but I'm not gonna count on it. That's very very unlikely, but I have hope!! It's sad to know we're about to go through another period of time, much larger period of time, without any contact. But, I'm praying for him always! I hope everyone who's reading this will pray for my husband and his crew, as well as the rest of our military!! Then, I watched Coming Home and Army Wives. And oh my goodness, I'm ready for my homecoming!! I've got my dress and everything picked out! Also, army wives has got me waiting another week on who will be receiving horrible news. I got goosebumps in the last minute of the show! I am so ready to kick this deployment's ass and get it overwith! My husband is amazing and I'd go through anything for him. Anything. Keep it up everyone!! Never ever back down for someone you love, no matter WHAT! Enjoy ya'll :) Goodnight.

Little Marshall

Day 27, I lied, this is the most exhausting day!

Was woken up at 3am to skype with my hubby. We actually got quite a bit of skyping in today. Good thing though, because tomorrow is our last opportunity and it is a very small period of time. Had wonderful conversations, and he reassured me so so much and I feel ready to take this deployment on again and start kicking it into high gear! I gotta get back into my working out regimine and losing weight! So anyways, then I picked up my friend's son, took him to the airport with me to pick up a friend coming in. Then, watched another little girl immediately after. I love hanging with children, but I am pretty tired. When I have children of my own, I will for sure force myself to not continue on this ridiculous going to bed late, waking up early thing! Cause as much of a blessing kids are, they have ENERGY! So anyways, now I'm sitting here watching Harry Potter. I love Harry Potter. But like I said, I am so so tired. So after this movie is over, it's showering time then off to bed! :D Feeling very positive today as my hubby really lifted my spirits. I'm gonna miss the communication we had this week. It made things alot easier. But, gotta do what I gotta do. Time to find my schedule again! :p Goodnight ya'll!

Day 26 - Exhausted myself!

Last night's nice long sleep did me sooo much good! I felt alot less sick today and thank goodness I am heading to bed now, about 2 hours earlier than the usual. Went to the beach with my friend Nancy and her son. We took lots of pictures and had a blast! Her husband is also deployed, although they are in the double digits!! Yay!! It's great to hang out with other military wives. You can fuel each other, motivate each other, like no one else. So long as you keep yourself from being jealous or rude to other wives, you can feed off of each other's good news, help bring each other up from bad news! It's a wonderful thing and I suggest everyone gets involved with other military wives. Same for you parents! Make friends with the other parents who have children in the military. Although you might be very far away, texting, calling, skyping... It will help you discuss all sorts of things! It's definitely a great thing! Well then, we went to Olive Garden, with yet another military wife. Had a wonderful time. Hung out a bit after that, talked and whatnot. Now I am back at home, exhausted! Will hopefully be hearing from my hubby at some point before the sun comes up - skype is the best!! :) and then on to another day tomorrow!! So keep it up ladies, and find a shoulder to lean on.

Day 25

So ya'll I'm getting sicker and sicker. My cold has become a super cold and I feel like crap! Basically spent all of today waiting for the hubby to get me a call but it didn't happen :( Now I'm about to go pass out and catch up on some much needed sleep! 4 hours in the last 2 nights! I'm friggon tired! Wish me luck of escaping this cold! Night ya'll :)

This is my cold and I fighting :D

Day 24 - A day behind

Well, my times are all messed up. My husband is 5 hours ahead of me so I've been off on when I wake up and when I fall asleep, not to mention I'm getting hardly any sleep at all! So, here it is. Better late than never! Pretty much did nothing yesterday, just waited all day basically until my hubby could skype with me. Lets discuss port calls. For those of you who deal with port calls (I dunno what other branches deal with, but pick your equivalent), sometimes they suck. We want our men (and women) to enjoy themselves while they're in other countries. We want them to see things, experience things, enjoy the short time they have away from their jobs. But we also want to be talking to them all the time. Obviously, we make the sacrifice and let them do what they wish, but it leaves us feeling down or upset most of the time. Sometimes it makes us feel underappreciated or less important. But we have to know that they still love us, just the freedom is overwhelming. We've been able to do what we wished, when we wanted. Even if we didn't, we still had the option. I know it sucks, I'm there, but we just gotta hang in there and keep being tough people! Stay strong everyone and don't let anything getcha down. Not worth it!

Day 23 - I haaaaate being sick!!

Sadly, although my husband is in port, we didn't get a chance to talk today. But tomorrow that will change hopefully :) I'm trying not to get too used to having some sort of contact with him because real soon that will change. Also, I am sick! Very sick! Congested, headache, sore throat, ughhhh... Everything!! Wish my husband was here to cuddle me and make me soup. Would be sooo nice :) Not much happened today besides me vegging out watching TV and trying to feel better!! But, I really need some sleep to get my body up and going again! Hope all is well with everyone else! :)

Day 22!

Hello everyone! Well today brought many things!!

Firstly, I got a call from my hubby. It was short, but still. It was amazing to hear his voice and hear that he is safe. Nothing in the worl could compare to how it felt to finally hear his words, speaking to me. Our skype call was unfortunately unable to hold a connection for very long. It hurt so much that I began to cry. I was worried and missing him. The call was a blessing, but very bittersweet. In the next few days I should get another opportunity to see him and talk to him on skype. So thank goodness for that! Everyone, please pray for all the deployed men and women. They always need our prayers. Goodnight everyone... And when we wake up, hello new day.




I love skype <3 Ah, finally seeing him after 3 weeks <3

Day 21 - 3 weeks down!

Today was very blah. Didn't do much but sit on my butt. I've also decided today that I need more of a schedule. Such as a... Bed by this time, wake up at this time, clean for a certain amount of time, read or write for an amount of time, walk the dog for an amount of time, work out for so much time. I think that would really help alot! Besides that, I've decided to save all my tears for Sundays! I watch Coming Home and Army Wives on Sundays and they tend to get me to cry! So Sunday is now officially my "miserable" day! Got some bills paid in the last few minutes, now I'm really ready for bed! So goodnight ya'll.

What we give up

So, for all of you military wives, husbands, fiances, girlfriends, boyfriends...
I'd like everyone to see exactly what our lives lack and what they gain! :)

First, I'll show you some responses I got from other military women:

Me - The biggest thing I feel like I give up is having my hubby there for big things and even just for little things such as holding me right before we fall asleep. And as for gain, strength! Our relationship is so strong after all we go through!

Nancy Ang - I sacrifice a father being there to see his children's young years (which fly by so fast) and we gain the security of knowing all children in the US will have a safe and happy childhood.

Mary Clark - I feel like I give up a normal family life (daddy not home everynight to kiss our son goodnight.) But we gain security. Knowing we are going to be okay and not have to worry about money, or healthcare.

Ellie Thompson - You give up the little moments like you said laurel. but you gain importance of time spent together...every minute together means soooo much more.

Amy Lowman - The hardest thing to give up is the "daddy" side of him. When Sophia cries "daddy daddy daddy.." there is absolutely nothing I can do. I'm only mommy. And what we gain? The endurance, strength, integrity, and faith in a way most people will never experience to this extreme.

Eden Mills - You lose someone to help make decisions and miss their opinions from things as small as dinner ideas to large stuff like daycare choices. You gain appreciation for one another and what they DO do and cherish time you do get. Plus yes you become stronger by plowing through obstacles when you do it alone but we get to see how strong, them as well are.. And Well just how bad ass of people we really are :)

(Still accepting more from anyone who's got something they'd like to share!)

But anyways, I'll start with a general consensus of things we give up. We'll save the best - what we gain - for last :)
Our husbands, boyfriends, sons, daughters, parents are giving our country security, although our sense of security in our home is lowered. We feel scared without our husband's beside us or in contact, any creak or bump in the house, we worry. We spend days next to the phone or next to the webcam, just cause there's a rumor that we might get a call. We skip out on some of the younger years of our lives. We give up precious moments with our men, big sections of a marraige or relationship. The children give up moments with their daddies or their mommies. The parents of these children, give up sharing those moments together. They have to play mommy AND daddy. We give up constant communication with those who we love and try to force the worries of an unexpected ring of the doorbell. And for the family members whose service member has paid the ultimate price of their life, they give up a lifetime without the person they love so very much. We sacrifice all the little things too, such as texting them, just to talk. Or getting a call everyday even. We sacrifice having them in the audience when we graduate, when we have a speech to give, some sacrifice being present for the birth of their child. We give up a normal life without deployment or worrying about the next time they'd have to go away. Because even when they're home, those moments are dreaded.

Now for the gains.
We gain a strong and wonderful man or woman in our life. We gain the knowledge that the one we love works hard defending this country. We have pride in our family and pride in what we do. We are also very strong and our relationships are unbeatable by all if we remain faithful and strong. Once we go through so much, we reach a point where all the small things are just that - small. We can work through hard times because after 6+ months apart, we learn to appreciate all the small things. We learn that those small things we fight about, are nothing at all. Life gains alot more meaning after you can go through something like that and come out in the end with more love than you went into it with. We gain independance, in a good way! We learn to live on our own, and our loved ones learn the same. It makes for a much stronger relationship altogether. The children gain daddies who are their heroes, and daddies who are defending our country so they can be free. Not only the ones who have significant others are gaining from our servicemen, but the entire country is gaining. Safety, security, the dedication of these men and women to keeping our freedom.

Loving someone in the military is very difficult and it has its disadvanages, but when you really love someone, what other option do you have? You love them and you stand strong next to them always.

Daaaay 20!

Welp, today brought on a few new things. Firstly, I've reached the "pissed off" stage of deployment. I'm still sad at times, but now I'm starting to just get pissed. I want my husband to come home. This is crap! Lol, if there was someone I could tell off or someone I could yell at specifically for taking my husband away, I would! I really wish he was home and I really wish I could talk to him. I'm missing him like crazy! But, I got an email today! So that really brightened my day quite a bit. I very much miss my hubby. He made me feel much better by telling me that when he felt unhappy or stressed, he would touch the personalized dog tag I made him and feel better instantly. This made me happy because, the same rule applies for me :) He also made me a personalized dog tag the day before he left. Anytime I'm feeling angry or sad, I read it. It brings light to all situations. Quote of the day (brought on by Mrs. Amy Lowman!!) Don't mess with angry navy wives whose husbands are deployed!! When you hit the angry stage, it's like an angry mama bear :p I'm telling you, it's pretty crazy. I, as well as Amy, can't wait til we get to the normal stage of the deployment where life feels NORMAL finally! :) We'll see if that comes anytime soon! Well goodnight ya'll :)

A very late day 19 post

Well, I fell asleep without writing - my apologies! But, yesterday I had a girls night with my friend, went to see Red Riding Hood. It was pretty fantastic! Then we went into the mall, bought some st. patrick's day clothes! Anyway, in the movie, which you gotta watch, there's a part that says "I'll wait for you." And it rung clear for me. Because I know that no matter what, I will wait for my husband. No matter how long he's gone or how long it takes to hear from him, I will wait. I really wish days would speed up just a teensy weensy bit... But, the schedule is here which is definitely good :) Well, sorry for posting late, but here is is!

Day 18, adios!

Well, didn't get much accomplished today. Some little things, but not much. Regardless, the day has passed and that feels great. My weekend starts and I'm pretty pumped for that. I made a video for my hubby and I :) I'm pretty proud of it. I'm glad I've finally found a routine. It makes me feel so much more relaxed day to day. Although making that slideshow, brought alot of memories to the front of my mind. I sure do miss my hubby. Wish I could talk to him!! But, it's what we do everyone. We suffer through the moments when we wanna talk, and it gives us something to be proud of in the end. It gives us independance while also being madly in love. I wish I had more to write to you every day lately, but like I said, a schedule has started and this life is starting to feel a little more normal. I hope everyone has found their schedule :) Goodnight ya'll.

Amy's story :)

Stephen and I met when we were 13 years old. My best friend at the time went to a different high school after we got out of junior high. Of course, we remained friends, making new friends along the way. She invited me to her birthday party where she had also invited some of her new friends…Stephen was one of them. We met and instantly hit it off. We dated for well over a year and a half. Unfortunately, Stephen decided he needed a change of pace, and he broke it off. Apparently, he needed to experience new girls and new things. We talked here and there, and we both dated other people, but that came to a stop quickly. Neither one of us found anyone that compared to each other. We were perfect for each other from the very beginning, and even if it took Stephen finding himself to realize that, it was worth the wait. We got “back together” and picked up where we left off. In our senior year, Stephen enlisted in the Navy…a girlfriend’s worst fear. However, it was the best choice for him and I knew he could do great things. I saw him off to boot camp and was waiting for him when he graduated in Great Lakes, IL. Later, he went to sub school in Groton, CT, and in the middle of his schooling, he proposed to me on New Years Day (well, at midnight) 2008. We had a short engagement…to our parents dismay…and got married on March 21st, 2008. I moved to Virginia in June of 2008 as he was stationed on a Submarine in Norfolk. The rest…is history! We now have a beautiful daughter, Sophia, and love every minute of our lives together.

Day 17, ahh...

I do feel as though I've finally gotten a routine. Thank goodness! I miss my husband horribly, but my life is gaining a type of normal-ness. I feel as though I can wake up, do everything I need to get done, spend my time, fill up my days, and keep breathing! It feels wonderful. I am so anxious to hear from my hubby again, so I can tell him how well I'm doing. Although I'm also nervous! I feel like a teenager again in a way. I feel like I have butterflies when I think about hearing his voice or seeing his face on skype. Although, I'll swallow them and get over it because I am so anxious to get word from him!! Tomorrow, got some more errands to run and things to do, then it will be Friday the next day! Going to see a movie with some friends, then Saturday babysitting and making a little bit of money. Very anxious to get tomorrow overwith so the weekend will be here! For now, adios amigos, keep reading and let me know if there's anything ya'll would like me to write about or if ya'll have any questions! Goodnight everyone!

Day 16, ahh it flew by...

Well, today went by very quick! I got some things I needed from walmart, went to a Verizon store to figure out some things with my hubby's cell phone and went to an FRG meeting! I had a blast at the FRG meeting, and found out alot of good information on my husband's deployment. It feels good to know what's going on, even if everything is definitely not set in stone. It was also nice to speak with some other ladies in the same boat as me (no pun intended!) So I greatly suggest to ya'll who are reading, to find some friends from your husband's boat, unit, etc. It definitely helps cause realistically, they're going through EXACTLY what you're going through. There's no difference in how much contact you have or they have, no difference in dates, etc. It's very nice and helpful :) But, I came home, relaxed with some TV going on, applied to an online college just to see what happens with that and just, relaxed. It feels like a very accomplished day and I can't wait for another day to pass! Thank goodness! Well, goodnight ya'll! :)

Day 15

Got alot accomplished today actually. More than I usually get done in a day. So that feels great!! Not much thought went into today though, just alot of getting things done that need to be done. This time two weeks ago, I was crying and miserable on my couch... This time two weeks ago, deployment had JUST started. Well, I'm alive everyone!! :)

Day 14, coming to a close :)

Well, today was sort of eventful. My family left to go back home, I began a fun workout routine that I actually enjoy doing, and I watched some great shows on TV. The first was Army Wives. I'm just starting to get myself into this show, but, regardless, I love it! The second was Coming Home. This show touched my heart in so many ways. The homecomings were beautiful and they brought tears to my eyes. I definitely advise you watch this show, although be warned, you really might cry. I also got an email from my hubby today!! It was just what I needed. It's been a week since the last email and I was starting to get a little down. Although, the communication will only get worse as the deployment goes on. But, today was a pretty good day all in all. I will fall asleep feeling alright, and I will wake up and go through with all the errands I have to run tomorrow... At least, I hope :p We will see if the motivation is still there. But so far, tomorrow involves a trip to the bank, a trip to the post office and... I think there's something else, but I'll remember it by tomorrow! :p For now, it's time for bed. I have had a big day and will have a big day tomorrow. Everyone, remember, there is no reason to not enjoy every single day. Even with our loved ones away from us, our life doesn't need to be empty. My life feels hollow in a way, but full as well. Knowing that my husband is still my husband, we still love each other and we will be together again someday. So don't allow the empty feeling to take over... Fight it, and live each day like you won't get it back - Cause with or without your loved one, you won't.


^^ This day will come everyone.

CONTEST WINNER

AMY LOWMAN IS OUR CONTEST WINNER THIS WEEK :)

CONTEST VOTING ENDS TODAY YA'LL

You read it, today is technically Sunday so at midnight, voting will end! So vote, vote, vote!! Our winner will be posted when the contest ends and she will enter her story sometime this week for everyone to read and enjoy!

Day 13... Ready to get this day overwith at the moment

So, today was a mix of good and bad. Spent the day with my family and our dogs. We went to the beach and had a pretty good time! Then, my dad, brother and I got me an exercise bike from Walmart so I can start to work out in the evenings while I'm watching tv :) Came back to the house, relaxed, hung out. Then, my parent's dog snapped my necklace. I dunno if anyone here knows the significance of my necklace - But, I've worn it since the day Pat left for bootcamp. I haven't taken it off for any reason besides once to take a picture of it, and once to change to a stronger chain and twice to add a charm and a dog tag. I suppose I can get a new chain, just, once it broke, something inside of me snapped. I wanted my husband, I wanted him now. I wanted him to be sitting here beside me saying "Laurel, it's ok. Tomorrow we'll go get you a new chain. I'm right here, you're ok." But he can't be. He can't even say those words to me. I wrote him an email, but, when will he get it? A week, a month? When he can say "Everything will be ok," the time where I really needed it will have passed. I miss him so terribly much... I wish he was here tonight to hold me and make me feel not so hollow without him. He is a part of me, my husband, my love. Just when I think I'm getting into a pattern, everything is thrown out of whack. So, everyone, I suggest you prepare for the worst. Although, not much can prepare you for this. It's gonna happen, eventually. I'm so ready for tomorrow to end, so I can say 2 weeks down. Although right now, that seems so small. Lately, I've been feeling so good about it... But tonight, two weeks feels like a day. When realistically, it's about half a month. I'm praying for my husband tonight. If you're reading this and you pray, say a little something for my husband. I want to keep him safe and have him come home soon. I am praying for all the currently deployed service members and those who are here in our soils, defending us everyday but going to work and showing our military presense. So, to bed I go. Lets wake up to a new day.






Here's the necklace I was talking of. The "Faith" charm was the original charm, the wing charm was added in November, then since this picture has been taken, a dog tag has been added that my hubby made that reads "Laurel Dangrow, I will always love you. Take care during deployment. I'll miss you. Love, Patrick."

Daaaay 12

Today went pretty quick. My family came down to visit - Took a trip to the NEX, got some groceries and whatnot. Then ate some delicious pizza! My puppy loved the company of my parent's puppy as well! Although, they "played" for hours!!! They knocked things over, etc! It was pretty funny, but driving everyone nuts!! :P Tomorrow we plan on heading to the beach for the day, enjoying the nice weather and the company. Hopefully the weekend will continue to pass quickly so that Monday comes and I can say TWO WEEKS DOWN! In one perspective, it feels great to know that it's been two weeks and I'm still alive, but at the same time, two weeks seems so small! I have reached 6% on this deployment and I've just gotta keep on pushing along! Not gonna lie, my next accomplishment will be 10%! I'm ready to get into those double digits. I can't believe it's already March. I wish my husband was here tonight to cuddle up with Molly and I in bed, but I'm reaching a point where I feel like I've got a routine. I've got a schedule every day and I'm keeping myself busy. That is a wonderful things in my eyes, just wishing I could hear from my sweetheart. I'm heading to sleep now :)

PLEASE PLEASE VOTE for the contest!! Contest voting closes on Sunday. I was really hoping to get a little more hype for this contest everyone! Surprise me! Enter your pictures to the contest (it isn't too late!) Tell your friends to vote!!

So everyone, the routine will come. We will soon grow used to our loved one being away and our life will begin growing more normal. Just hang in tight, it will come!

Day 11, almost forgot!

I had a really great day surprisingly!! Babysat earlier than made a yummy dinner for a group of friends! It felt great to sit down with friends, make new friends and just enjoy time together. I have no complaints today! I do wish I could hear how he was doing or something of the sort, but I am so happy tomorrow is Friday. It'll be bringing the week towards a close! This week went pretty fast surprisingly. Well, I'm heading to sleep! my family will be visiting this weekend and I've got to get some rest! Stay positive and keep living your lives everyone. Sweet dreams and goodnight.

DAY TEN

Well, today was crazy. I lost it for the first time since we said goodbye. I began to cry, I felt horrible. The crying was honestly a physical pain. I wanted to talk to my husband, or have him comfort me and knowing that it'll be so long before he can do that again, caused me to panic. I just sobbed, for a long time. When I finally relaxed, I was angry that I had lost control. It was just horrible feeling so miserable. I've been keeping my chin up and keeping tough, so losing it was double crappy! But, again, I'm sorry but I've been waiting til late-late at night to write and I am exhausted. I'm about to grab a shower and do some cleaning - I'm having people over for dinner tomorrow and my parents will be visiting for the weekend. But lets just say, today I hit rock bottom... I just wanted to be with my husband and I wanted him to comfort me. But this is my time I suppose to comfort myself. I gotta keep tough and just keep keepin' on!!

Hey everyone, VOTE for the contest please and keep entering!!!

Thank you readers!

I just want to say thank you to all of you who read along and follow with my deployment journey! I have honestly LOVED the responses I've gotten on the page and in emails from those of you who are reading. They really keep me going and it's wonderful to know that there are people listening out there. So thank you, all of you! :)

PHOTO CONTEST ENTRIES

Hey ya'll, I'm posting the pictures that have been sent to me so far! Remember, you're still more than welcome to send me pictures (laurelbby@yahoo.com) for the contest until Sunday! Voting officially ENDS on Sunday!! To vote, post a comment with the name of the person you'd like to win and include any comments on it that you'd like! And yes, if you've entered a picture, you can vote for yourself (once) So only one vote each everyone!! Here's the pics:

AMY LOWMAN (HUSBAND STEPHEN)

SARAH LUSSIER (FIANCE JACOB WITH SON CAIDENCE)

WENDY STUMP

MICHELE DANGROW (WITH SON PATRICK)

START VOTING!!! And keep entering more pictures!!! :)

Day 9... Yes everyone, I know this post is late.

Well, I had a few visits today.... The Infamous Deployment Fairy,

And free pancakes at IHOP

First, I shall apologize for the fact that I'm writing at 5am on Day 10 technically, but I haven't went to sleep yet. And I also apologize for the fact that my writing might not be awesome... I'm exhausted. Well, anyways, yesterday, I realized my laundry room door was jammed. Some things had fallen down in there, and it wouldn't even open half an inch. I wasn't in the mood to deal with it, so I decided to wait until today to deal with it. Well, I figured that what was blocking the door was boxes, so I decided to just push until the boxes caved enough for me to get my arm through there. Well, I pushed and I pushed... And WHAM the handle of my vacuum went RIGHT THROUGH the door. So, now I realized, boxes were not the problem. And the worst part was, I STILL couldn't get the door open. It was still just as jammed. So, I submitted a maintenance request, sounding like a completely dummy. That'll be coming out of the security deposit! Awesome! So thank you Deployment fairy, FML. But, I will get you back.

Then, I went grocery shopping with some friends. It was nice to get out of the house and finally fill my fridge back up!! Not to mention, spend some time having a blast with friends. It definitely made me feel better. Then, I hung out with another military wife, made a new friend as well - yet another military wife, and we got some free pancakes at IHOP :) It was probably the first time I'd done anything like that since the summer after graduation. It was a blast. Then, basically hung out all night after until oh say, 3:10am. Lol.

It is great to speak with another military wife who's husband is deployed, I highly suggest it!! It's great to discuss your husbands and realize that you're both going through the same thing. Granted, it made me miss my hubby more than usual. I was forced to think of him strongly - which is good and bad. Emotion is not always bad, everyone. Even if it's negative emotion.

Also, got some motivation :) I'd like to take a boudoire photoshoot for my hubby!! So I am gonna use this to motivate me to get back into jogging, to get back into getting fit. Not to mention, I'm getting excited about homecoming dresses and outfits!! So, today, all in all, was a great day :)

It's extremely late, and I'm ready for bed!! Goodnight ya'll!

P.S. There is currently 2 entries for the photo contest... Come on everyone!!!!