Days 34/35

Sorry about the split days everyone! I've just been so busy/going through a bit of a phase. First I'll talk about my days, then I'll talk about how I feel. Yesterday, I had a full day with my girls! We made a 3 hour drive to go to an Irish festival only to find out that dogs weren't allowed into the festival (Which was outside) so, we drove home. Then we went out for the evening afterwards! It was a really great time and it was a huge stress reliever! I woke up this morning, my friend drove me home, and I relaxed for a bit. Watched some tv, showered. Some other friends stopped by laster on and we went to applebees for supper, then watched Army Wives and Coming Home. This weeks episodes were INTENSE! I cried/was teared up basically at ALL times! Made me think about what it would be like if I lost my husband. I just couldn't possibly imagine it. But of course, we all worry and have those thoughts every once in a while. Now, how I feel. I dunno what exactly it is, but I'm going through a phase. It's hard to think about the situation I'm in. It's hard to think of my husband or think of this deployment - what day it is, how many days are left. It's really hard. It's helping the time pass a little faster, but also, when I do slow down and remember my husbands sweet face, it burns. Right now, I'm having a hard time finding words to say. It's not that I don't care, I'm just speechless, thoughtless, wordless. I just dunno what to say. I miss Patrick horribly, and I just want this to be over. I don't want to be the third wheel during dates, I don't want to keep waking up alone. I want him to be back and I want our lives to go back to normal. But I can't have that happen, it really isn't up to me. For now this is all, I'm not gonna make this whole split days thing a habit. I think it's just a stage I'm going through. Keep reading ya'll and keep on keepin' on! Goodnight!