Today, flew by!! I can't believe it's already about time to go to bed. I woke up, took care of some bills, went for a jog, came home for a little bit, had a friend come by and we went for another (more intense) jog with some walking afterwards, grabbed a good ole healthy sub from subway and now I'm home, writing this blog. Soon to shower then clean! I am sore and exhausted, but honestly, that feels great!! I feel accomplished today. I just wanna say HAHA to the deployment fairy on this one cause although working out got pretty difficult today, I rocked it! When I started getting tired, I just kept thinking "Homecoming. Wanna look sexy for Patrick's homecoming" and that pretty much did it til my lungs just decided to be done for the day. Honestly, I've just been trying to keep my mindset off of him as much as possible (he's never completely off of my mind) but the less I worry, and the less I think, the easier the days pass. Now, some people might read that and think "Ha, she's not suffering. She's just putting it out of her mind." I am suffering. I truly, dearly miss my husband. It is so hard not to go through videos with his voice, listen to songs that make me miss him, etc... It is a constant battle. But I won't let myself go through that, not yet. I've gotta hang tough and work hard. A few weeks down the road, I'll allow myself to go through videos, blast depressing songs and cry my eyes out. But for now, I'm working to just make it through the first few weeks. I'm working to build a foundation for myself so that no matter how depressed or lonely I get without my husband, I will never crumble. That's my current goal. Although, I gave in once tonight. I allowed myself to listen to "here comes goodbye." I felt myself slipping a little, like I wanted to cry. So I turned it off. Like I said, it's just not time for that yet. I gotta be strong for now. Not only for me, but for my hubby. I love him. He is a wonderful, wonderful man. I have more pride in him than anyone or anything in the world. Our military men are sacrificing so much. Those on the frontlines, those who are not currently deployed and all those inbetween, are working late hours, knowing they're gonna be apart from their families and friends and all those things they love for months and months and months. Even when we aren't in battle, they're showing America's presense. They're showing that we are here and we are strong. They've giving up precious moments with the people they're going to grow old with. They miss their children's first steps, they miss their wives (period.), they miss family members passing away... They miss all of those moments that many people couldn't imagine missing. I am proud and I am staying strong for my husband. So everyone, hang in there. What we're doing is hard, but what they're doing is harder. We've got the luxury of distractions and goals. They do not. Well, this is all for tonight. Let me know if anyone has anything they'd like to write me about and let me know if anyone has any questions!! Goodnight everyone and... Day 4, kiss my ass!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Day 4... Wow!
Today, flew by!! I can't believe it's already about time to go to bed. I woke up, took care of some bills, went for a jog, came home for a little bit, had a friend come by and we went for another (more intense) jog with some walking afterwards, grabbed a good ole healthy sub from subway and now I'm home, writing this blog. Soon to shower then clean! I am sore and exhausted, but honestly, that feels great!! I feel accomplished today. I just wanna say HAHA to the deployment fairy on this one cause although working out got pretty difficult today, I rocked it! When I started getting tired, I just kept thinking "Homecoming. Wanna look sexy for Patrick's homecoming" and that pretty much did it til my lungs just decided to be done for the day. Honestly, I've just been trying to keep my mindset off of him as much as possible (he's never completely off of my mind) but the less I worry, and the less I think, the easier the days pass. Now, some people might read that and think "Ha, she's not suffering. She's just putting it out of her mind." I am suffering. I truly, dearly miss my husband. It is so hard not to go through videos with his voice, listen to songs that make me miss him, etc... It is a constant battle. But I won't let myself go through that, not yet. I've gotta hang tough and work hard. A few weeks down the road, I'll allow myself to go through videos, blast depressing songs and cry my eyes out. But for now, I'm working to just make it through the first few weeks. I'm working to build a foundation for myself so that no matter how depressed or lonely I get without my husband, I will never crumble. That's my current goal. Although, I gave in once tonight. I allowed myself to listen to "here comes goodbye." I felt myself slipping a little, like I wanted to cry. So I turned it off. Like I said, it's just not time for that yet. I gotta be strong for now. Not only for me, but for my hubby. I love him. He is a wonderful, wonderful man. I have more pride in him than anyone or anything in the world. Our military men are sacrificing so much. Those on the frontlines, those who are not currently deployed and all those inbetween, are working late hours, knowing they're gonna be apart from their families and friends and all those things they love for months and months and months. Even when we aren't in battle, they're showing America's presense. They're showing that we are here and we are strong. They've giving up precious moments with the people they're going to grow old with. They miss their children's first steps, they miss their wives (period.), they miss family members passing away... They miss all of those moments that many people couldn't imagine missing. I am proud and I am staying strong for my husband. So everyone, hang in there. What we're doing is hard, but what they're doing is harder. We've got the luxury of distractions and goals. They do not. Well, this is all for tonight. Let me know if anyone has anything they'd like to write me about and let me know if anyone has any questions!! Goodnight everyone and... Day 4, kiss my ass!
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