I'd like everyone to see exactly what our lives lack and what they gain! :)
First, I'll show you some responses I got from other military women:
Me - The biggest thing I feel like I give up is having my hubby there for big things and even just for little things such as holding me right before we fall asleep. And as for gain, strength! Our relationship is so strong after all we go through!
Nancy Ang - I sacrifice a father being there to see his children's young years (which fly by so fast) and we gain the security of knowing all children in the US will have a safe and happy childhood.
Mary Clark - I feel like I give up a normal family life (daddy not home everynight to kiss our son goodnight.) But we gain security. Knowing we are going to be okay and not have to worry about money, or healthcare.
Ellie Thompson - You give up the little moments like you said laurel. but you gain importance of time spent together...every minute together means soooo much more.
Amy Lowman - The hardest thing to give up is the "daddy" side of him. When Sophia cries "daddy daddy daddy.." there is absolutely nothing I can do. I'm only mommy. And what we gain? The endurance, strength, integrity, and faith in a way most people will never experience to this extreme.
Eden Mills - You lose someone to help make decisions and miss their opinions from things as small as dinner ideas to large stuff like daycare choices. You gain appreciation for one another and what they DO do and cherish time you do get. Plus yes you become stronger by plowing through obstacles when you do it alone but we get to see how strong, them as well are.. And Well just how bad ass of people we really are :)
(Still accepting more from anyone who's got something they'd like to share!)
But anyways, I'll start with a general consensus of things we give up. We'll save the best - what we gain - for last :)
Our husbands, boyfriends, sons, daughters, parents are giving our country security, although our sense of security in our home is lowered. We feel scared without our husband's beside us or in contact, any creak or bump in the house, we worry. We spend days next to the phone or next to the webcam, just cause there's a rumor that we might get a call. We skip out on some of the younger years of our lives. We give up precious moments with our men, big sections of a marraige or relationship. The children give up moments with their daddies or their mommies. The parents of these children, give up sharing those moments together. They have to play mommy AND daddy. We give up constant communication with those who we love and try to force the worries of an unexpected ring of the doorbell. And for the family members whose service member has paid the ultimate price of their life, they give up a lifetime without the person they love so very much. We sacrifice all the little things too, such as texting them, just to talk. Or getting a call everyday even. We sacrifice having them in the audience when we graduate, when we have a speech to give, some sacrifice being present for the birth of their child. We give up a normal life without deployment or worrying about the next time they'd have to go away. Because even when they're home, those moments are dreaded.
Now for the gains.
We gain a strong and wonderful man or woman in our life. We gain the knowledge that the one we love works hard defending this country. We have pride in our family and pride in what we do. We are also very strong and our relationships are unbeatable by all if we remain faithful and strong. Once we go through so much, we reach a point where all the small things are just that - small. We can work through hard times because after 6+ months apart, we learn to appreciate all the small things. We learn that those small things we fight about, are nothing at all. Life gains alot more meaning after you can go through something like that and come out in the end with more love than you went into it with. We gain independance, in a good way! We learn to live on our own, and our loved ones learn the same. It makes for a much stronger relationship altogether. The children gain daddies who are their heroes, and daddies who are defending our country so they can be free. Not only the ones who have significant others are gaining from our servicemen, but the entire country is gaining. Safety, security, the dedication of these men and women to keeping our freedom.
Loving someone in the military is very difficult and it has its disadvanages, but when you really love someone, what other option do you have? You love them and you stand strong next to them always.
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