Sorry ya'll, didn't get to writing again last night. But I'll explain why!
So yesterday I didn't do too much until I had a friend over :) Her husband is also on my husband's boat and we had never hung out before. Now if ya'll have been following along from the beginning, you'll remember my "Here comes goodbye" blog, about how I said I saw another couple saying their goodbyes and it was what hit me really hard and got me crying, well, it was her and her husband! :) We stayed up until the sun was coming up talking about our boys and our lives and I have to be honest, it felt awesome! It's great to find another wife around my age who's at the same stage in life as me and going through most of the same things! And as I said, we stayed up until the sun was coming up, hence why this blog was not written last night.
Then today we went out to her place, introduced my Molly to her kitties and it was a blast :) Afterwards, I came home, picked up some of my other friends and had a little bit of a get together. Just sitting around, BS-ing, watching movies and eating pizzas. It was fun though! It's nice to just... Relax with friends! Have a good time, tell some jokes, make some silly little memories. And now, I am laying in bed whilst my friends are passed out across my entire living room like a crime scene.
Tomorrow myself and two friends (Both of whom I've hung out with between today and yesterday) are going to an Irish Festival! We're bringing Molly along and it should be a really fun day! :) My hubby and I are both Irish and I know he would LOVE to be here and go with me. I sure wish he could.
Now, enough of what I've done. How about how I've been feeling? Like crap. But ok. It's very complicated. I feel strong and independant, I feel a schedule everyday. His absense is still everywhere, but his absense is also expected now. It's easier when my body gets in a routine of knowing he's not gonna be coming home from work or he's not going to be sending me a text or holding me at night. It just becomes normal. At the same time, this fact brings me down. It's upsetting to know that we've got to live without each other or be apart. I miss the intimacy of having my husband home to hold me at night. But one thing I can tell you for sure, I will never take advantage of another moment I have with him. I will never take one kiss for granted, one smile, nothing. Because those are the little things I'm missing more than anything.
Bottom line is, I'm used to him being gone. Which makes things easier. But knowing this fact, is just downright depressing. I don't want to be used to that. I want him here.
Well everyone, I'm heading off to bed for another early day full of some fun! :) I'm just trying to soak up the days to their fullest so they pass faster. Although I must say, it being day 33, I feel like I've been in the day 30-s forever! I dunno why though! If your husband/boyfriend/etc is home or will be coming home tonight from work or whatever... Hug him extra tight. Sometimes being with someone all the time we take advantage of those intimate moments, or don't fully appreciate them even when we think we do. Something so simple as a kiss is easy to underestimate. But honestly, when you're apart for so long, a small quick kiss becomes something glorious that you dream of. So soak it up everyone, just take a deep breath and appreciate to the fullest the next hug or kiss you give your SO.
Sweet dreams ya'll :)
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