Here comes goodbye...

This morning we loaded his sea bag into the car, and he said goodbye to his home for a very long time. Next time he sees this place, leaves will be falling, it'll soon be cold and winter will follow shortly after. And we just got out of winter! When we got to the base, he had to take two trips down the pier for his 3 items - A sea bag, a backpack and a box that I made him. Now ladies, this box... Has helped me IMMENSELY. It has a letter for him to open every single Wednesday until he comes home because this deployment will have very very little communication. He has a present to open for every month. He has pictures of us all through it. I wrote the letters (obviously before he deployed) and writing those letters showed me truthfully that the end of this deployment WILL come. He will one day read that letter that at the end says "See you tomorrow." As horrid as this deployment is now, it will soon end. Anyways, last night and this morning I was keeping it together pretty good. I hadn't cried, was giving my husband encouraging thoughts and we held each other tight as we fell asleep. As he walked down the pier, I glanced to my left. I saw another couple saying their goodbyes and all the sudden I realized - Here comes my goodbye... I started breaking down. The tears were painful as they left my body. My chest ached. I was panicking. I kept thinking, I can't be alone for that long. I can't. He's my best friend, my husband. We live together, we share a home together. How can he leave for that long? He's going to miss everything! I saw him walking towards the car... Oh no... I got out of the car and held him tight. He pressed me as close to him as possible - we were squeezing so tight that we could hardly breathe. This goodbye process was about 10 minutes - Due to the fact that I just COULD NOT let go. I kept saying the same things, "I don't want you to go." "What am I gonna do without you? Who am I gonna talk to?" "I love you so much, so very much, don't you ever forget that!" "Come home to me soon, be safe over everything else!" "I don't wanna let go..." "Please don't leave..." But every second passed quicker than the next. We had to do it. We had to let go. We tried about 3 times, but kept coming back into each others arms. My face hurt from crying so hard and my mouth was dry (Not optimal for your last kiss for the next 7+ months). Finally though, we pressed our lips together... lingered in that spot for a moment, and then released... We looked at each other, and choked out "Goodbye..." and as I climbed into the car, he walked away and down the pier... Gone, gone, gone... My heart was broken. I realized while I was out there saying goodbye, my puppy had went potty on the seat and a little voice in my head said "The deployment fairy has already visited and he's been gone for about 15 seconds." I cried the entire way home. My heart is still aching. I keep thinking that that couldn't possibly be our last kiss... He'll be home sooner than what I'm expecting and I'm finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that I won't hear his voice again for a while... I'm finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that I can't text him or even EMAIL him over the next "--" months. My heart is crying out and begging me to drive back to the base and say goodbye again, but this is it. Our goodbyes have been said, we released from that kiss and now it begins. The deployment has officially... begun. Hang in tight readers, the rollercoaster is about to start.